By Andrew Cho
I love hearing compliments, yet I don't think I give other people enough kudos. I notice many people do not know how to properly receive compliments so I've compiled some info on the etiquette of giving and receiving compliments. This info seems like common sense, but if we all followed these rules I think we would all be just a little happier.
Giving compliments is a friendly way to begin conversation and to promote good will and make others feel good about themselves. If compliments aren't sincere, the receiver might be tuned in and take it as an indirect insult.
Example: "What a nice shirt." Try not to go into too much detail about the shirt or you could make the conversation boring. By saying additional information such as "this sweater is so much better looking than your other ones" takes away from the effectiveness of the compliment.
Example: "You know a lot about fashion, do you think you could help me find some shoes this weekend." Indirect compliments are used when you admire something about them without telling them directly. They are great to use when you need some help.
Notes: Avoid giving compliments in public that might be interpreted as an insult to others. For example, if you compliment somebody's sweater, others listening might feel that you are implying you don't like theirs.
Compliments are like gifts and you should always let the giver know your appreciation. Here are some appropriate responses:
"I'm glad you like it."
"What a nice thing to say."
"I appreciate it."
By responding by denying the response such as "this sweater is faced and old" is rude and may make the person giving the compliment feel that you don't value his or her opinion.
Notes: Europeans often receive compliments without words, rather a friendly smile. Asians also don't use words, but a gracious bow.
(Try to deliver your compliment casually so that it doesn't come off as a pick-up line. If it is your body language will indicate it. And please give a honest observation, it works more effectively.) M.N.Curry
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